Wednesday, 4 August 2010

A little letter to Jack Chick

Hey, computer man, check out my post.

Of course he has.
I am fond of dinosaurs. This provides many opportunities for fun when reading Creationist waffle. A friend recently pointed out the existence of Jack Chick. In a nutshell, he's a bigoted, raving fool, who self-publishes tracts which wobble from sickening sentimentality and pathologically rigid adherence to bizarre trains of thought via an intense hatred of almost everyone.

Well, one can't argue with that kind of logic.

The specific cartoon tract that amused me to the point of writing a ridiculous letter at 2am was a combination of his Creation tract and his Ark tract.
“See what happened to the dinosaurs, and what will happen to you if you reject Jesus!
Apparently (a fact I’d hitherto been entirely unaware of) the dinosaurs lived in harmony in the Garden of Eden, until the serpent (actually a dinosaur) got them all thrown out, although the dinosaur did make it onto the Ark for some reason.

This is an interesting example of the way rigid adherence to a single idea necessitates twisting the world about the idea, creating some superbly mad little pathways. For some people, it is far easier to create a maze than to take a pair of hedge-trimmers and walk straight through the thicket of nonsense that has been created.
For some reason, the concept of dinosaur salvation tickled me, and I couldn’t stop speculating upon the subject doggedly, in order to reach some sort of idiot logical conclusion (I should probably add the point here that I don’t actually believe Chick has discovered the one truth that will trounce years of scientific research).
Here is what I have done so far, written while drinking copious amounts of coffee and laughing like a drain at Chick’s website. It's so breathtakingly ludicrous that it's sometimes hard to believe the man is not some kind of joke created by the Onion.
I was attempting to make it sound earnest and sincere but fear I may have failed.
” There was something in your work that troubled me. This is the possibility of salvation and Gods’ infinite mercy. Considering the dinosaurs you portray- with a good deal of humane pathos- are capable of feelings and of articulating them so well, is it not cruel and inhumane to deny them eternal peace?
Surely a dinosaur is capable of seeing error in his ways and of allowing the light of our Lord to change his life? If there is no hope for an innocent creature such as the dinosaur, then what hope do we have of recieving His forgiveness?
Just as humans, some dinosaurs are godly and some dinosaurs are wicked and sinning. Some may even have wished for a more peaceful world- in which the inferior humans did not pursue them with lance and sword and make their lives a misery. The carnivorous human may even have learned a more moral way of living from the herbivorous quadruped, paving the way for Christ.
I have taken the liberty of examining this problem in the light of the Bible. It is perfectly possible lust never existed for dinosaurs; the fact they died out seems to me to suggest this theory is plausible. In the absence of a monetary system, avarice amongst the dinosaurs was likely to be nil. Jesus never mentioned dinosaurs, so surely he didn’t see them as irredeemably evil. There is no mention of their being wicked in Leviticus, and one would have thought God, being all-seeing, would have mentioned them if they were any more evil than humankind.
Perhaps he recognised that ‘he without sin shall cast the first stone’. and that if the dinosaurs do not judge us then we have no right to do so for them. Surely Jesus would have been the first to pity these creatures- perhaps with modern DNA technology they will be resurrected in time for his Second Coming, so you have no right to claim that Hell is filled with the souls of unsaved dinosaurs- to claim this would be to pre-empt the workings of Fate.
What kind of religion could treat those innocent creatures with such cruelty? If all that is needed to go to Heaven is belief, would a dinosaur who truly believed go to heaven? The fact that the species was wiped out doesn’t mean some may not have repented at the last minute.
Another query I was bewildered by was the fact God saw fit to grant them a place on his Ark. Most of the animals on the ark must have survived or we wouldn’t have them here today, so a dinosaur can certainly be trusted with other living creatures. As they had very large teeth, this is already evidence of them having turned from their sinful natures.
I am sorry to send this, and regret it, but I feel very strongly about being fair to all the Lord’s creatures. If heaven is infinitely large, surely there is room for dinosaurs who follow God’s path?
If Eden is the original paradise, surely it could be possible that after the Rapture we will all mingle together, the faithful having nothing to fear from even the most rapacious carnivore, once it has seen the error which had hitherto dogged it’s footsteps?"
Now Chick is seen as a harmlessly addled idiot, old-style hellfire-and-brimstone-preacher, but he's also terrifying . According to him, all Muslims ought to convert, black people need separate cartoon styles, all rock fans and role-players are Satanists, and teenagers only kill themselves because they think it's cool .
If this is representative of a significant portion of the population, I'm going to crawl away under a nice mossy rock and die. I imagine most Christians are deeply embarrassed by him; and would like him to just go away quietly and run a whelk stall or something instead.